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my crazy thoughts of wedding plan

When my boyfriend (chatmate boyfriend) ask me "will you marry me? , with no hesitant and doubts I said "YES" crazy, isn't it??? I haven't meet him in person but I agree. Since then , I know I am engaged with the stranger.

I started making plans, since both of us working overseas. (crazyness) but what's harm in planning a small wedding? People say that little girls dream about their wedding. When I think about having my wedding with a room full of people staring at me as I walk by in a giant dress and my groom waiting to take me in the altar. I really cringe and excited. You couldn't imagine the feeling but I supposed everybody feels the same.

For the past months I got engaged "kuno" LOL.. (the fact that I haven't meet him) I have a mixed feeling. Excited but I am frightened, frightened maybe because I haven't meet him personally or scared because I'm going to enter another chapter of my life. Scared as well that if I will meet him my feelings change and I will say "no he is not the right man for me" or vice versa.

Now we are arranging our wedding but what if the time comes, as I said earlier "the meeting" I am scared what he will say or I do. I am really starting to think of a huge mistake. I keep asking to him if we are doing the right thing but he assured me that It won't happen what I think.

As people say getting married is not a game. It is not like food you eat that if you don't like the taste you could spit it out. It is a lifetime commitment. And one woman told me, wedding is just a wedding. What's important is right after the wedding. Started a new life and even you know your fiancee for a long time but you didn't live together is not the same. You only know a person if you live with him/her. You have to consider in every decision you make. And even you have the brilliant ideas make him feel that is his idea. So lot to give more than you receive. For as long he could provide me what I need. As long he make a living, for me that's the important thing.

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